My Rainy Sky
Certain days are destined to draw you further from–or closer to–all of the world. If you don’t believe in destiny, you might say it’s in the stars. If you don’t believe in astrology, perhaps it’s just a particular brand of short-sightedness that closes you in, given this particular set of circumstances. In any case, something will change:
“Therefore, the Lord God banished Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden and placed a flaming sword to protect the tree of life.”
— Genesis 3:24
The Fountain fits these days perfectly and provides a bridge to the dreams that you may wish you had, should you choose. I’d be remiss should I fail to provide you with the stereotypical quote at this juncture: “Death is the road to awe.”
If you haven’t seen the movie, I strongly suggest that you do. I’ll provide just one spoiler: the incredible images of Shibalba and the journey in space aren’t dilute computer-generated animation. You’ll know as soon as you see them. You’ll ask yourself why they feel so real, so true to life… The answer is simple: it’s because they are. Thanks to the surprising world of macrophotography, space travel in The Fountain is almost entirely biological. Aronofsky has cleverly side-stepped the need to generate realistic effects by deferring to reality. This, in turn, draws you in even further. If you get this movie on DVD or Blu-ray, please, please take the time to watch the related extras.
In the movie, Izzi asks Tommy what he thinks of the idea of death as an act of creation. You see, it’s possible that we’re looking at the idea of eternal life all wrong. Isn’t it possible that life continues forever without the intervention of a deity or a relic? The first thought that comes to mind is of, predictably, reincarnation. The image of life as a cycle has long been proven true in the biological sense; we’re just not quite so certain that the essence of who we are (our soul?) perseveres. Again, I think of the movie and Izzi’s revelation that she’s always changing… never the same, changing every moment–every single one!
I won’t pretend that the movie is completely factual and accurate in its portrayal of the Mayan creation myth, but I’m not sure that accuracy is key. The question here is whether you believe in that moment at which life began, the world sprouted (from First Father or from primordial ooze). If so, the next question you’ll have to ask is whether it will end. I don’t think that even the most cynical among us desire to believe that there is an end. Nothingness is generally undesirable, so here you must decide: is life cyclical, as the seasons? Very well, that may be a logical leap that’s not as easy to make as the first. Think of it this way, then: life exists on many scales. If you can’t envision a parallel between the seasons and our lives, why not expand your perspective? Have you ever watched the clockwork motion of a model of the solar system and seen flashes of atomic structure? Suddenly your perspective is at the other end of the scale spectrum.
Let’s find a happy middle ground, then. How about looking closer at the patterns in life around us? Perhaps you can see the incredible permeation of fractal geometry in nature. Each river, each leaf, each mountan evolves and grows cyclically. Why not you and I? We observe these patterns in our Earth, and even see expansion (and foresee compression) in the universe. If you’re afraid to ask what life you might live after this one, perhaps you should–once again–consider a change in scale. Will you be asking these same questions the next time you are living this moment, when the grand cycle begins again?
I can’t help but wonder how many of the world’s petty problems and humans’ petty insecurities would vanish into obscurity should such a proof be made. In fact, it need not even be proven; just considered. Perhaps a grand unifying theory of life, death, reincarnation, evolution, reintegration and the universal cycle of time will bring an end to war and hatred.
Perhaps not. I concede the possibility that such cycles would not and could not exist in the absence of war, hatred, poverty, ill will, uncertainty and fear of death. After all, these thoughts don’t assuage my own fears. However, if I should be on the verge of death… Which would I prefer to think about, a path to the void (an end to all ends) or a return to the beginning?
It’s an easy decision. A simple change in perspective is enough; I don’t need an answer and don’t expect to find one. My particular journey is a part of something bigger, something that I will never truly grasp. My eventual return to the earth may or may not preceed the earth’s eventual return to stardust, our star’s eventual return to its state of equilibrium in silence, the universe’s eventual return to its moment of birth. In any case, the meantime of our existence should not be dismissed so easily.
“May your lives be long, and may your wishes all be simple, and may your hearts stay strong.”
–Cloud Cult
